Updated: Feb 6, 2021
It is said that if you want different results, you have to do things differently. This is easier said than done, of course. We are creatures of habit, and our subconscious mind operates for us 95% of the day, without us being consciously aware of it. It actually makes it nearly impossible to do things differently because it is unsafe in many cases, and therefore, our resistance and self-sabotage kick in. Have you ever committed to doing something, and as you get results, something happens that makes your forward progress impossible? Commit to getting into shape, and as you are making progress, you injure yourself? Decide you will lose weight, and as the scale begins to go down, you binge and fall off your plan? Make the giant leap to pursue a new career venture, and all of a sudden, something in your life happens, like unexpected bills, that keeps you in your current job? Yup, that’s your subconscious kicking in and attracting things to your world to keep you right where you are. Safe. Secure. Status Quo.
I had a breakthrough this week with my nutrition/energy healer. Our session was incredible. While she is very gifted and exceptional, the difference this week was me. I showed up differently than I had in the past. I was ready to move through some shit and begin wrapping my arms are things that I truly desire: meeting my love match, building my coaching business, and finding my balanced weight. I dove in and was vulnerable in the process and myself as we moved out, blocked energy and emotions. I was riding a natural high on Thursday night like no other and found the low on Friday. It is because these things invigorate me and give me energy, but they scare the shit out of me! My subconscious kicked in, and all of the fears and emotions came bubbling to the top Friday morning. I doubted and second-guessing myself all day. I met the evening alone. I licked my wounds and reached out to the man with whom my relationship just ended. I was seeking solace, comfort, and a boost of confidence. Instead, I got silence. It hurt like hell, but it was what I needed!
I woke up today, and I faced my fears. I took leaps of faith and made moves that I had been avoiding. I joined a dating app with the sole purpose of having fun. I am ready to flirt, feel beautiful, and get back into the sexy vibe. I enlisted a friend to help me shop for clothes that make me feel beautiful, desirable, and flirtatious. I am ready to give this gift to myself and let the world experience how good I feel. I planned my next class and am prepared to jump in. I am not focusing on it being perfect, and all put together. My message and content are fantastic. It needs to be in the hands of the women who need it, and I am ready to dive in. My body is in the flow today as I navigate the day. I am listening to it and what it needs; water, nutrients, movement, and rest. I am entering into a new relationship with my body. Not fighting, not condemning and judging, instead of loving and nurturing it entirely.
I know my subconscious will rear its ugly head because that is what it is designed to do. Its whole purpose is to keep me safe, and for that, I am grateful. What is safe now is very different from what it was when I was a young child and a young woman. I will continue to work through the layers that need to be peeled away to make my true desires a reality. I am competent and entirely worth it.