Updated: Nov 3, 2019
One of my favorite movies is Moana. It is a fantastic story of a young girl who listens to her inner voice. Against all the odds and the displeasure of her father, she ventures out to do what she is called to do. My favorite part is at the end when she realizes that TeKa is really Te Fiti. It is incredibly powerful when she sees the destruction that has been created by the loss of Te Fiti’s heart. “Know Who You Are” is one of my favorite songs that is played during the time of recognition and reawakening.
This song resonates deep inside of me. For so long, I felt that parts of myself were taken from me through my experiences. I am learning that these parts weren’t necessarily removed, but the stories I told myself about these experiences molded and shaped me to be who I am today. I am a strong, successful, smart, and capable woman, but I also numb my feelings, keep so busy, so I won’t feel the pain, and I refuse to accept the love that presents itself in my life because I don’t believe I am worthy. The experiences that have caused pain and created distrust and sadness in me have shaped who I think I am. I have allowed these stories to dictate who I believe I am, what I feel I deserve and have in turn attracted to my life what reflects these beliefs. I have manifested a world that I currently live in for all of it’s good and bad.
I am not defined by my experiences, and the stories that I have created in my mind aren’t real. I allowed so many misrepresented stories to serve as truths. I am embarking on a journey to uncover the true me. The me that elevates my gifts and embraces me for all that I am, my light, and my dark. Brené Brown talks about the importance of integration in her book, Rising Strong. We need to bring together all aspects of ourselves to create a whole being so that we can walk in our story. I love her quote, “You either walk inside your story or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” Frankly, I am tired of hustling. I am exhausted from working so hard to make sure that no one sees that I am a fraud. I am ready to burn the masks that I wear throughout my day to hide my true self. I am prepared for real connection, genuine and sincere love.
I was so relieved as I listened to Rising Strong when Brené described her life when her mother began to change the family dynamic by going to counseling. She talks about how her mother taught the children how to connect and recognize their emotions and that her mother’s choice forever changed Brené’s life. It gives me hope that the work I am doing can and will forever change the path for my daughters. I am ready to embrace vulnerability, honesty, emotional awareness, and healthy coping strategies which will support my daughters to engage with this work far earlier than I did. What is most valuable for me to remember is that when I do stumble and fall back into old patterns, that my awareness and resilience will show my children that our worth isn’t connected to perfection; it is living as perfectly imperfect human beings.
Messages to my daughters: It is never too late to try something new. Your choices and the way you decide to live impacts those around you. You can choose to be a positive and healthy influencer. Your setbacks create opportunities for resilience. Your successes pave the way for future success. Your desire to learn shapes many paths for you to choose from on your life’s journey. You were created perfectly, you don’t have to be perfect. You can live a happy and fulfilling life. It is all within your reach.